I tremble.
Journal Entry:
Wed Sep 23, 2009, 11:36 AM
I want to disappear
I'd just sleep all day
These spots on my hand
My skin just like sand
And the air so cold
I shudder and I can't sing
The carpet on my feet
Sweat stains on the sheets
Cough syrup and drug
Bandages and gauze
The razors dull the water cold against my skin
The radio log is static buzzin' around like tin
In all these empty plans
The ink stains on my hands
And everyone saves
The best words for the grave
Are these weary morning tones
I'll probably save mine too
If heavens just a long road home
Tell me it's true
I'll go too
I'll go too
I'll go too
Well, I lost my innocence today
I could feel her in my bones
My bones, my bones, my bones
My blood, my blood, my blood, my blood
And I woke up, tired, scared and sad
Soaked, drained, I felt so bad
Today, today, today
What you still, you still, you still, you still
Won't you say, you say, you say, you say
What you feel, you feel, you feel, you feel
Which is nothing but hollow feelings, yeah
I can, done, I just don't care
And forget happiness, I'm fine
I'll forget everything in time
I swear I didn't know,
You know me, how I can't let go
And we're not guts, we're just hacks
All that life amongst the cracks
The scars, the siege that breaks
The ugliest scene, the worst mistakes
And everywhere I see her face
Such a beautiful child, such an awful waste
And there's no innocence like hers
Just emptiness and nerves
And this light from the window of my car
She'll never see it, oh my God
I was so surprised, it blew up in my face
Lord, I lost my nerve, oh my God...
Oh my God, oh my... God
And I tear, I tear, so hard...
And I tear, I tear, so hard...
And I beg and scream, "I was wrong"
It's over, she's gone
- Listening to: Airborne Toxic Event
- Reading: A course in miracles
- Playing: innocence
- Eating: nothing.
- Drinking: glitter
Yo
I really appreciate it
-Isaiah
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